Where do we go?

I was thinking just yesterday that we should get the papers for adoption and start filling them but then today I am finding myself thinking again of all the freedom we will have by having only one child we do so much more, more traveling more for him but then I remember last weekend at the park and him being left out because he doesn't have a sibling. It tugs at my heart and I really don't know what to do, part of me really would like another baby and I am having a hard time seeing pregnant bellies and newborns again but then I look at my Son and think of where we are and all that we can start doing with him at this age. I guess all this really says is that I am still not ready to decide and I need to patient with myself. My old Yoga teacher got in touch with me this week and has offered for me to come to a couple of classes for free and then if I feel like it I can clean the studio once a week in exchange for classes for free. I think this a great idea for me as I really want to get back to Yoga but it is not really in our budget to be paying for classes. I only have 3 more weeks left of work and then I will be home full time with Spencer and can focus on him and our life as a family. We will be heading to Calgary in the fall to see the specialist for Kevin's bone disease I am confident that he will figure this out and help us find a solution to what ever is going on. I am watching Spencer this weekend with the other kids and I see that he likes to play with them but he also enjoys his alone time too and I don't really think that is a bad thing. I am going to work on finding some yoga dvd's for us in the fall I would really like to start practicing yoga with him I think it would be good for both of us. As I write this I really am feeling a pull towards just keeping this our little family of three. We will see where things take us but I am not rushing into any decision. This one time that I must be patient and not push things it will happen the way it is supposed to happen for us that I do believe.