Far from better.

I realized and have admitted to people this weekend that I am not over the miscarriage or our ending treatments, I still look around my house and our life and yearn for another little to add to it. I realize now that this is going to take a while and require me accepting how I am feeling and acknowledging those emotions. I will have to take this day by day and work on dealing with how I am feeling without internalizing those emotions like I have been. I am also go to work on trying to be more grateful for the life I do have and the wonderful family that I do have. I am going to work learning to love my little family of three and letting go of that dream of being a family of four. This will take much time but I do hope to one day look back on this and no that I have moved on. You never imagine when you start out trying that this is where you will end up, you never picture the unhappy ending you always imagine that eventually it will work. I hope that me being honest with all of you will help someone out there that is struggling like me, I hope that at least my experience can help someone and that something good comes out of all this.