Peace and Faith

Well I finally listened to what people had been telling me and decided to have a chat with God in attempt to let go of my pain and turn it over to him. I must that since doing this I have found myself surrounded by a sense of peace and the ability to get through each day without that horrible pain. I am even finding myself feeling again as though there is some hope that we will someday complete our family through an adoption and that someone out there will find us and ask to raise their child and give us that beautiful gift that only they can. I due truly believe that some how that little one will find us one day and Spencer will get the chance to be the amazing big brother that I know he will be!!! So for now I am taking each day is it comes and working hard to find ways to support my family from home. We are finally getting organized and settled here, the basement is finished and Kevin has built me the most beautiful Sewing room/office, we are also applying to host an international student in January which will be a great experience for all of us as well as provide us with a little bit of extra money to get some of our debt paid down. I have recently been thinking about a list that I made sometime ago and have put away somewhere but one of the first things on the list was that I would be home full time in September and that has happened some of things have come to pass and others not but I wonder what will come next? We are going to be hosting a consignment sale in November at my Yoga studio, I have been a little worried about letting ago the baby stuff but now I am thinking of the good that I will be able to do for Spencer with that money. A friend suggested that I do something special for him with that money so now I am thinking of what that will be? I am trying very hard to just focus on him and how wonderful he is and making his life as happy as can be. We received the good news last week that Kevin does not have a fracture and it is not his bone disease so now we can work on moving forward knowing that he is healthy and if we take good care of our health will be for a very long time. Things are falling into place and today on Thanks Giving I am finding myself very thankful for my amazing husband, my wonderful little boy, my family and friends and all our many blessings. Somehow it seems today that good out weighs the bad and it has been a long time since I felt this way. Today I feel as though we can move and there is a future out there waiting for us!