We have decided we are done and happy with our one!

It has been just over a week since we came home and I phoned our Fertility Clinic to let them know that we will not be continuing our treatments and that we have decided to be just our little family of three for now. This is a big step as I am sure some of you understand but we did not come to this decision lightly. After almost 2.5 yrs of treatment, thousands of dollars and one miscarriage it left us wondering now what? Where do we go, what is the next step, do we try again as that was our best cycle to date? So many questions and so much pain! For several weeks we wavered back and forth on whether to try again and if so what type of treatment, when and how much debt would we put ourselves in? Then one day I was talking to my Mom (which doesn't happen very often) and she asked me how much more debt would I put my family in for a sibling that may not always be there for my Son pointing out my relationship with my brother (estranged) and my Husbands relationship with his siblings (also mostly estranged) and that was when I saw the light and the possibility that we could be just the three of us and be happy! We had a trip away planned in next week so I decided that we would take that time and think things over and hopefully be at peace with our decision after our holiday. By the end of the second day it was very clear to me that yes I was ready to be done with fertility treatments but that I was not ready to be done trying to add to our family I truly believe that there is room for one more so we are looking at adoption but realize this will be a long journey and in the meantime we are working on enjoying our little family of three. My focus is to not lose a moment with my Son as this maybe the only time I get to experience this which is leading me to question my part-time employment situation. I currently work 2-3 days per week which that income is very much needed now to help pay off our debt but I am currently paying for a full-time daycare spot which doesn't leave much money left over. As a result we have made the decision that as soon as we can make it work I will be coming home and opening a daycare allowing me to be home with our Son and him to have other children around. To go with this big decision we have also decided that we want to move back to Alberta and will be doing so as soon as we can. This is a lot of change but it is all good change for our family and our Son seems excited about the idea of moving closer to the mountains. As for my feeling about stopping treatments I am oddly at peace with it and everyday that feeling seems to get a little bit stronger.