Something I have avoided for the past few years hoping that eventually we would be able to photograph our completed family but that hasn't happened. I feel like we have been on hold waiting for this thing to happen. I was looking at a friends summer pictures thinking why can't we have that and I hate feeling this way, I hate the wanting, the incompleteness of it all. I know that we are meant to have one more child, it's just so frustrating. I should be content with what I have; we have a beautiful Son and I have a loving husband but still that person is missing. My Son says to me about yesterday that if he had a baby sister he wouldn't have to be grumpy. I hate that we all feel this way if my body had of continued to cooperate we would have been pregnant by now but once again it has let me down. So now I think I would just like to take it out of the equation in comes adoption. I really hope that things will move fairly quickly for us I pray with all my heart that the process will happen quickly for us. Those are just my thoughts today and I will carry as I always do with that fake smile on my face that says it's all ok when really it isn't.
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